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I’d like to share with you something that happened to me this week that demonstrates to me what reader appreciation is all about: appreciating you readers.
Have you ever written something you thought would offend?
Writing can be difficult when you are talking about subjective topics, matters of style or taste, or even just good practice, so it is no surprise that from time to time someone takes what you have to say the wrong way.
What do you do then when you write something and realise when you read it back later on that you have just criticised something that a reader does, even though it wasn’t meant to apply to them?
There are a few options:
- Nothing, if they are that easily offended perhaps they shouldn’t be reading it anyway;
- You can wait, and hope they understand you enough not to take offence;
- You can be extra nice to that person, possibly adding a link;
- You can can go back and add an update to your post;
- You can e-mail them directly and explain;
So which would you choose?
Be Honest
What happened to me this week is that someone e-mailed me to tell me that their comment didn’t mean to apply to me, and clarified their meaning. I hadn’t read it as being critical of me, and even if it had been I probably would have agreed, but regardless of the original intent that e-mail spoke volumes. I, the reader, was appreciated.
I probably wouldn’t have been so forward thinking. I might even have opted for the head-in-the-sand approach. The web is full of people who like nothing better than to shoot you down so a few days under the duvet, sneaking furtive glances at the comments page when you think no one is looking, is a fairly easy choice to make.
So what would you do? Any of the above, or something different again?
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There have been several times a reader has offended me to the point where I will turn off comments for said post. Usually it starts with a warning, and then if it continues, I turn the comments off.
One time an offending reader sent me an e-mail further provoking me and said, “Wow, I must have hit a nerve there if you turned comments off…” I responded back and basically told him that my website is neither the time nor the place for a discussion of that sort.
I have e-mailed other bloggers who I thought I offended through a post here or elsewhere. And in the case of offending lots of readers (which I did with my ‘things to avoid’ post), it’s best just to not read the comments until you’re in the company of a friend so that you can laugh it off.
Yeah! you should primarily think about your reader before writing any article. There’s a wordpress plugin called Psychic Search which may help to get an insight into your visitors minds.
Nice one, thanks for the tips.
I wanted to say thanks for the insight on the “blogging anxiety” post. Over there, you mention that blogging and political correctness do not mix and I would have to agree.
Being too humble in my approach is something I struggle with.
On the subject of offending someone: I think blogging is all about interaction. It’s not me over here and the reader over there. The biggest fault I’ve found with some bloggers is that they really don’t care what their readers have to say, offended or not.
I always like to know their is a human being on the other end of this transmission and I try to show the same courtesy to others. I avoid personal attacks at all cost and I’m not going to converse with someone who uses them. This is a problem I’ve seen over and over again on-line. It’s like people don’t know how to argue… perhaps I found my niche
Nice topic, Andrew
Thank You.
Internet communication lacks the personal touch.
People read everything with their intonation and take everything personally even no names are mentioned.
The crowd doesn’t like someone to put himself out of the bunch, and if you say “the crowd doesn’t like”, most readers will take it personally.
I don’t give a penny about such readers.
I have Bulgarian web site with more than 6 thousands unique visitors per day.
Some of them like to be offensive, and seeing that they like it I try to give them the pleasure of the game, but I never play with people’s values.
I hold them back with hits on their intellectual towers and very soon they leave.
Don’t like deleting comments, except if they clearly express hatred toward someone else in the discussion.
It does happen quite often: “from time to time someone takes what you have to say the wrong way”… sometimes we realize that someone misunderstood us, other times we don’t, and sometimes we’re concerned that we might be misunderstood. How we behave in each of those cases is a personal choice, I guess.
You know, I used to have a reader on my blog, who was frequently commenting since my early days of blogging… then after a few months that reader stopped commenting altogether, and even stopped replying to my comments on their own blog. Until this very day I’m not sure what had happened – I can’t recall any offending comments from my side, and I don’t know whether it’s because that blogger became too popular for reading and commenting on my blog.
But since then once in awhile I have that feeling that I might’ve offended someone with what I said or wrote…
PDN, I agree you should think about the reader before writing, but I also think approaching an article with the intention of offending no-one cuold mean your writing is left pretty sterile.
As Ned says, interaction is the key. I suppose you should also expect your readers to be able to figure out that you don’t mean to be offensive, to a point anyway. Personal attacks are not on, ever, and it is always a shame when readers resort to it because they find that their argument simply doesn’t stack up, but won’t admit it. (Mac vs PC anyone?)
Truden, I don’t like the idea of deleting comments either. I think blogging is all about openness and so it is better to deal with poor comments, than just delete them. Unfortunately some people are just doing it for jollies, and so can’t be reasoned with.
If a reader of mine was to express absolute hatred toward a group then I think I would rather try to show them how the position was untennable rather than just delete.
Vivien, I get that feeling once in a while as well. Thankfully it usually turns out to be my overactive imagination, but it can really spoil your day. Long time readers will usually get what you mean.
I know a few bloggers who have disapeared. Most just go back to the real world.
@Ned,
I’m glad you liked the Blog Anxiety posts. Blogging isn’t easy, and for those that think it is, they will receive a rather rude awakening.
You seem to have the concept of reader appreciation down pretty good. Treat others like their human, remain objective in criticism, and do unto others.
I’d be interested to hear more of your thoughts on how to argue. Please send me an e-mail if you’re interested in perhaps a guest post. It’s a topic I think a lot of readers here and elsewhere will find intriguing.
@Andrew,
You know it’s all about the Mac. With Windows installed, of course.
Sure!
If hatred is shown it the context.
But you probably didn’t have comments like:
“You are fuc*ing freak and you deserve to burn in hell.”
@Truden,
Not quite like that, but I was equated to Hitler once
See the comments on my tattoo post. That was the one where I shut down comments.
@Huereca,
Oh, that last comment is so soft and politely put.
Are you sure you closed the comments because of the last one, or you just didn’t have more to say
I don’t have a tattoo
By the way, I’ve made an experiment.
I said that I can take any person out of rails and make him/her mad angry.
Few people wanted me to try it with them, saying that they’ll never be angry with me.
They were friends.
Now they don’t count me as a friend anymore
Humans are very fragile.
Truden,
Thankfully I haven’t had statements like that; I wouldn’t argue with anyone wanted to just delete those kinds of comments.
I can’t help but be reminded of Jay & Silent Bob (Strike Back) where they invest their money in tracking down and punishing people who have been nasty to them on the net. I wonder whether these kinds of trolls will inspire this sort of thing, with contracts put out on social networks. I hope not.