How do you react to things you disagree with?
Here at RA Project we get many comments every day. Some are spam, some are questions, some are comments to test out various plugins, and some are comments to agree or disagree with certain viewpoints.
It is an observable fact that successful people avoid getting upset publicly. You yourself many notice that people who need what they want actually ignore most or all of the opposition and disagreements they notice coming their way. The bad thing about such an approach is that it alienates a lot of people. The good thing about such an approach is that it strengthens your reaction to others and also ensures that you seldom get upset by others online when you realize you are on a track to achieve something.
Darnell Clayton wrote “Why WordPress Bloggers Need to Choose Premium Plugins Over Free.” The article reasons as to why premium plugins are always better than free plugins. I consider it a very important post that everyone should read for one specific reason: the types of reactions it has created. The post is now a classic example of how people get upset or emotional simply because someone brings up a topic that targets their job or their opinions.
Let us look at a few examples of how some people reacted to Darnell’s article.
Examples of How Some People Respond to Things They Disagree With
Now in response, some people, in addition to agreeing or disagreeing with the points, actually responded by getting offended by any idea of premium plugins being completely better than free plugins. Here are 4 examples of this:
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Ozh from Planet Ozh called the post “trolling” since he did not like it. That is one example of someone labeling someone as abnormal or “trolling” solely because of not liking an idea expressed by someone on your blog.
Since Ozh did not like the post, he called it trolling.
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In the very comment above, Rahul Bansai replies to Ozh and disagrees with Ozh. At the same time, Rahul takes Ozh’s comment very seriously and actually hopes for Darnell to clear up or explain himself in a follow-up post, simply because Ozh wrote that comment. It is also interesting to note that in an earlier comment Rahul expressed his shock that Darnell would suggest such a thing, though Rahul did not label Darnell with any negative connotations in such a disagreement.
This is what can happen to your post also: someone may take your side while also expecting you to explain yourself more to anyone who says you are “trolling” solely because you wrote something they did not like.
Many WordPress supporters reacted harshly to Darneel. Would you too?
Andrew Nacin, one of WordPress core developers, simply said “This reads like FUD.
This is another example of someone simply labeling you or your ideas as unacceptable or rational simply because that someone disagrees with them, without actually telling you why they think that. You will notice a lot of emotional outbursts like these when you write posts that others disagree with.
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Lorelle VanFossen took the original post by Darnell as an insult and responded by writing an article called “Responding to Insult Against WordPress Plugin Authors.” She said:
After all these years on the web, you would think I wouldn’t get fired up over pure stupidity and selfish meanness. You’d think I’d have thicker callouses. When it comes to trashing the WordPress Community – ooooh, my shackles rise.
It is also interesting to note that Lorelle, in addition to taking Darnell’s post as an insult, explains why she thinks he is wrong and offers her viewpoints.
These are excellent examples of how someone may disagree with a post you yourself may have wrote. The interesting thing is that Darnell himself never attacked any of these people, nor did he dismiss them as “trolling” or other labels, the way he was dismissed by many.
How do you respond to things you disagree with?
I have an awesome rule, or an idea, of not rushing myself into responding to things I disagree with while I feel emotional about the topic they are talking about. Otherwise, it can be very easy to say things simply to attack or insult the person who wrote something you disagree with, instead of discussing or expressing why you think otherwise. As I have mentioned before, it is better to disagree with arguments, and not with people who argue.
Of course, Darnell posted a follow-up article on Blog Herald titled “Should WordPress mimic Apple regarding premium plugins” in which he, accomodating all the previous insults and disagreements he got from the WordPress community solely for thinking that premium plugins can be better than free plugins, talks about how premium plugins can be given priority while free plugins can live on. Lorelle, Ozh and Andrew have so far not replied to that post.
What do you think?
What do you think from all of this? How would you react to things and posts you disagree with? From the above comment examples, which comment do you think is the most rational? Which one is the least? Which comment type would you most like leave yourself? Which comment would you be comfortable receiving on your blog?
Share your opinions, tips or any experiences in your comment below. Feel free to agree or disagree in any manner you wish!
Thanks for reading!
LOL! I haven’t replied to the post because I had no idea it had been published. And the post makes me laugh before I even read it. Talk about overkill on the wrong logo! Yikes! But that has nothing to do with the article.
His article does not respond directly to the issues against his original perspective, thus no trackbacks, which would have been helpful and professional.
He also changes his tone. He is saying that premium WordPress Plugins should be included in the official WordPress Plugin Directory. Some are, so I’m not sure what his issue is. He’s also off base as usual on a lot of his points, which shows a serious lack at attention to detail.
I see no reason to respond to that post, to continue with your important point. He’s changed the original point and not made a case to defend himself against his original “free sucks – paid is better” premise. His argument is now on behalf of premium WordPress Plugin developers, hoping that the community (and those in charge) will open the gates to their products so they can get more exposure to the WordPress Community – which shows that he still has no idea how the community works and why.
Many take on rants and issues when they really don’t understand the whole picture nor are willing to listen and learn. That’s sad and makes the discussion fall right off instead of actually continuing and doing some good for all.
There are several great points you made and some you’ve overlooked on this issue. One is intension. If your intention is to really change things, then your disagreement should help move the audience (and others involved) towards an open discussion that will influence change. Motivate and inspire, not just condemn. That’s too easy. If you get the point that there is a reason behind the madness, then share that, too.
For Mr. Clayton and myself, his intension was to get premium WordPress Plugins on the front page. My intention, and mission, is to get WordPress Plugin authors who give back to the community without expectation of return on the front page. That is a fight I’ve fought since 2003 and will continue to fight as long as WordPress survives.
From your perspective, who won?
Thanks for commenting and explaining, Lorelle [long time no talk!]. lol @ “overkill on the wrong logo!”
I originally thought of replying to Darnell about his topic and then found myself focusing on this topic here instead. For the original topic as Ronald knows, I agree with you, Ronald and Andrew: the idea that all premium plugins are better than free plugins holds no value nor much substance since it is a generalization and stereotyping of all free plugins as being cheap and inferior and of all premium plugins as being deluxe and more polished. Take Akismet plugin as a single free plugin example that disproves Darnell’s theory or shows his thoughts are wrong; without Akismet, I would be crying daily because of all the spam or because of having to moderate everything. I know of no premium alternative that is better than that. Please let me know if you do.
I love the idea of intentions [which is why I have my site thereasoner.com] and you are right: I missed it completely in this case! His post should include alternatives to the things he says are wrong or not good. Simply labeling all free plugins as being inferior without giving all free plugin developers and users an alternative to their current development and use of free plugins, while also indirectly declaring that all free plugins usage should be abandoned, is being like so many movie critics of today; they simply love criticizing movies to get more views or claim authority without offering any help or views on how such movies could be better, or doing something better themselves.
As for who won, lol, so far it seems you are winning.
Darnell should know that using his logic, WordPress.org software would be considered fully inferior and dangerous due to low quality, because of being free, compared to premium alternatives like TypePad or even WordPress.com VIP hosting. I wonder how many people out there actually believe that.
thanks for posting this article
Myself being a premium plugin author, I kinda understood where the original post was coming from.
That being said, however, I strongly disagreed with the logic of the argument, which is, “If you buy a premium plugin, it’s better than a free version.”
What happened with several responses is that the person took it rather personally (very understandable) and began attacking the author, not the argument. After all, I still develop free plugins from time to time, and sticking a price tag on them won’t automatically make them better.
The argument itself is deeply flawed, and one could definitely write a whole thesis on it from a logical standpoint. Attacking the author in this case (e.g., calling him a troll) isn’t necessary.
Responding to Lorelle’s point about the follow-up article… This article was a complete separate work and didn’t do anything to address the original article and/or criticisms in the comments. That type of article would have been fun! Instead of digging in the same hole, the author got out and dug another one (although, less deep).
My comment wasn’t an emotional outburst. I respond to blog posts every day, sometimes spending 15 or 20 minutes on a single comment through research, coding, or editing. Every time I write a comment, I subscribe to additional comments via either email or RSS. I consider reading and responding to blogs an important responsibility.
It doesn’t have to do with whether I disagree. If anything, that’ll encourage greater engagement.
That post wasn’t worth any additional effort. My comment was a carefully considered statement that best summated my opinion on the matter. I wasn’t upset. I wasn’t emotional. It just wasn’t worth the effort to construct a response to a post that is built on top of logical fallacy after fallacy.
And here we are, all agreeing with each other! What a nice world we live in!
Actually, this is normal for many in the WordPress community. As Andrew said, and I know Ronald agrees, we take our posts and comments, even on other blogs, very seriously. We don’t go into these things light-heartedly.
Yes, Mr. Clayton missed a fine opportunity to “dig in the same hole” but choose to bypass that to dig a new one – that’s brilliant, Ronald!!! Just goes to show you that some people don’t get the real magic of a good argument.
Reading the points you made in your post, I’ve been giggling as I wrote If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Come Blog By Me on The Blog Herald years ago with clear points on what it takes to really make a good argument. Too bad Mr. Clayton missed that point – okay, being mean now. Teeth bared! Time to head out and find a new rant to rave about.
i behave like a good man.
Everyone has their own way to respond for the denial things.My behaviour would b respond with peace and calm with loads smile.
I agree with San francisko
cheers
I guess the strategy to deal with arguments vary from person to person. In my case, I’d raise my point of view and argue a bit but if it’s getting out of hand I’d just throw in the towel since I don’t like violence or incivility. Nothing like peace.
Me I speak my mind, occasionally it gets me in trouble
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